Dan, I'm Leaving
by NerdyDakota
Summary: Phil sees Caspar Lee's roommate break up prank and decides to pull it on Dan, but it doesn't go as planned. Warning for suicide, self harm, and eating disorders


**A/N: *sigh*. I'm** **sorry, this is the complete opposite of what people want, and I know it. I just couldn't help it. Yep. My life is just a jumble of fanfiction, weird ideas, art, and one friend that actually cares about me. That's literally it. Oh, yeah, and a stuffed owl named Oscar that my friend gave me for my birthday. Actually our locker neighbour took him before I could even touch him. Lol. Go ahead and break my legs for writing this. This would literally just be the same story as my first Phanfiction, Unfriendly Arguments. lol. This is going tor be so fucking short**

 **Anyway, you may now read. By the way, anything in italics is memories. Except for 1 thing which I think you'll know when you see.**

"Hey, guys!" said Phil, looking at his camera. "So I was watching one of Caspar Lee's videos. Guess which one? The one prank people say they'll break my legs if I pull on Dan. If you guessed the 'Breaking Up With My Roommate' prank, you're correct! I know what you're saying, this is going to break Dan. But, I swear I won't be too harsh. Okay, I'll wait for Dan to get back from the store, and then I'll try. If I can keep a straight face. You saw the Can Your Pet? video, as convincing as I was, you guys knew I was pranking Dan. Anyway, I'll be back when Dan's back."

Phil sat down at the table, messing around on his phone. He eventually started playing Crossy Road.

"Oh my god, this thing's annoying," he said as he played as the baby hippo. Dan walked into the apartment at that moment.

"Hey, Danny," said Phil. Dan rolled his eyes, smiling. "I need to talk to you after you get everything put away."

"About what?" asked Dan.

"Something," said Phil, frowning,

"Why don't we talk now?"

"It's about our near future."

"Can't we talk about it now?" asked Dan. Phil was starting to regret deciding to pull this kind of prank on his best friend and roommate.

"Okay, fine," said Phil. "I've been thinking, I miss Manchester. I kind of want to move back but without you."

Dan didn't know Phil was filming.

"W-What?" said Dan. His eyes were watering. Phil was really feeling bad now.

"I'm sorry," said Phil. "I have some really good friends up there, and I miss them."

"So you're actually leaving me and going back to Manchester?" said Dan.

"Yeah," said Phil. Why was he doing this? It would destroy their friendship when he said it was a prank.

"Phil, we've been roommates for almost six years, why now?" said Dan, tears now freely running down his face.

"I'm sorry, Dan," said Phil. "This is the worst thing I've ever done to you."

"No kidding!" shouted Dan.

"Dan, I mean I never wanted to move out," said Phil. "I'm not moving back to Manchester."

"Dan," started Phil, but Dan was running to his room sobbing. "Dan! Dan!"

Phil ran after Dan but failed to catch him before the door to Dan's room was shut, almost slammed. Phil went back to his room, grabbing his camera. He turned it on.

"Hey, guys," he began. He was crying, too. "There's something I should probably tell you. I may or may not have broken Dan. I don't mean in the way I usually do. I mean I actually brought back 2012 Dan. I was going to pull the 'Breaking Up With My Roommate' prank. It backfired. I managed to get everything out but I don't think Dan wants to be my friend anymore. I'm sorry if Dan isn't how he normally is. I take the blame. I'm really, really sorry."

Phil turned off his camera, and decided to just make it a direct upload. A few of the comments he got were "I don't think Dan will go very long without you", "You can fix the damage you did", and "It's not your fault".

It is my fault, Phil thought as he relaxed on his bed. I'm so sorry, Dan.

"Dan," said Phil, slowly opening Dan's door. "Are you okay?"

"I think so," said Dan.

"I'm really, really, really sorry," said Phil. Dan hopped up from his bed and started to pack a suitcase. "Dan, where are you going?"

"To Reading for a couple weeks," said Dan. He was still crying. "I just need a break. I'll be back, I promise."

"Okay," said Phil. "I'll see you later then."

Phil was almost sobbing as Dan left. He went to his room and sat down on his floor, putting his face in his knees.

 _He's not coming back,_ thought Phil. _It's over. All because of me._

"I'm sorry, Bear," he whispered to himself. "I never meant to hurt you."

O0O0O

It was the day Dan was supposed to come back to London. Phil had been having trouble dealing with the fact that he'd caused Dan to leave. He hadn't eaten anything for two weeks, and his arms and wrists were covered in scars. He'd spent at least two hours total each day lying on his bed in tears. Then he made a decision that would permanently affect everyone who knew him.

O0O0O

"Phil?" said Dan, walking into the apartment. "Phil! Philip Lester!"

 _Bang_.

"PHIL!" shouted Dan, dropping everything he had in his hands and running to Phil's room. The carpet and walls were covered in blood. A pistol was laying on the floor, and there was a note on Phil's bed. Dan was sobbing. He picked up the note and read it.

 _Dear Bear,_

 _I had to use your nickname one last time, Dan. I'm sorry it had to be like this but it's too much. It's my fault you're heartbroken. If I'm gone I won't be able to break your heart again. I'm sorry for breaking you. I'm sorry for everything._

 _Phil_

Dan looked over at Phil and ran over to him to check for a pulse. He didn't have one.

"No, Phil," said Dan, sobbing into Phil's bedsheets. "I can't live without you, Phil. Please don't go. I need you."

Dan couldn't even make a video about this. He instead called Phil's friends and family and told them what had happened. Several things were going through Dan's head.

 _"I'll see you later."_

 _"I can't live without you, Dan."_

 _"I've got Skittles in my mouth. Wanna taste the rainbow?"_

 _"Yeah, especially now I've got my cordless hammer drill!"_

 _"So, what're we gonna do today, D-Slice?"_

 _"This was the most fun I've ever had." Phil rugby tackled Dan, causing him to instinctively hold onto Phil's waist_.

Dan was sobbing harder than he ever had that he could remember. He couldn't live without Phil, Phil had been the source of his happiness for seven years. He took the pistol that was next to Phil, staring at Phil's lifeless body. He took out his phone, took off the automatic screen shut off, and typed a note on his Notes app.

 _To anyone who finds this,_

 _I'm sorry it ended like this. But Phil's the reason I've been so happy these seven years. I can't be happy without him. I'm really sorry, but I want to see Phil again. Goodbye internet._

 _Danisnotonfire/Dan Howell_

Dan brought the pistol to his head, letting a few last tears stream down his face. He was still staring at Phil's lifeless body. He couldn't get one thought out of his head:

 _"This was the most fun I've ever had." Phil rugby tackled Dan, causing him to instinctively hold on to Phil's waist._

Dan couldn't think about anything else as he pulled the trigger on the pistol.

 _This was the most fun I've ever had._

 **A/N: I'm so sorry, but I had to write this. As long as you don't listen to "So Cold" by Ben Cocks while reading this you should be fine. Bye**!


End file.
